I have increasingly come across people pitying and sympathizing with – themselves. Maybe such people were always to be found, and I am just realizing it late – maybe I am one of them – I don’t know – but I’ve begun to identify these “type” of people recently. I hate stereotyping people, and putting them into boxes, it is this omnipresent quality that can be seen in people that I want to stereotype.
Living inside our problems – comes naturally to us. We see our problems as major obstacles that prevent the greatness in us from manifesting. The problems could range from the most grotesque to the most silly – what is difficult for one can be extremely trivial for another J. Let me vent out a few examples: -
If I failed an exam, I would make a life and death situation out of it, whereas for the rag picker kid who has not touched a pen except the discarded – it is a non-issue. If I failed in a relationship, it is God’s punishment for my karma, why did I deserve this? Am I not a good person (rather the best person God ever created!!) whereas there are millions who live without anyone to call their own – let alone suffer heartbreak. I did not land my favourite job…to hell – there are people as talented as me if not more – who could not rise up in society simply because they did not have the opportunity
When we have a problem, we live inside it – meaning we refuse to see the world outside; people who are suffering several times more than us. We think God has been unfair to ONLY us, and to hell with the rest of the world. The more we live inside our problems, the more we get sucked into the cocoon, and giant spider webs that our mind creates. The negative energy that this creates can only worsen matters. We become insensitive to others – those worse off, or even better off – but deserve a shoulder nevertheless. Self-pity is selfishness.
But while we are busy sympathizing with ourselves, there are a bunch of angels (friends etc) who can see things a bit more clearly and try to make us focus on solutions. Those in the mood to help themselves would grab this rescue boat, and get ashore. Others happily absorb even the angels into the self-pity vortex.
Some situations are inherently – hopeless. Nothing can ever change them. So will pitying oneself and relentless cribbing change them? Doubt it.
My unproved theory is that this self-pity compounds with time and age. The more negative experiences we get, the stronger becomes our negative energy, and greater the power to generate more negativity!!!
Just keeping my fingers crossed that even when I am blinded with my own problems, I would at least have the sense to recognize angels when they are sent!!!
When we are on the steps towards success, it is always good to compare ourselves with people who are better off than us so that it gives us that competitive edge and winning spirit.. but when we are faced with situations where we have lost something or someone, or pushed into something that is irrevocable or unerasable, it is good to remind ourselves that we are better off than more than half the rest of the world.. and your observation is very good.. we cannot always rouse ourselves to rationalize in such situations.. thats why we have those angel friends around us who will lead us “from darkness to light” in such situations.. and rest assured.. the angels around many of us are strong enough to literally drag us out of those moments with the right kind of reasoning..
gr8 thoughtss well articulated
thats the irony of life.. we need be passionate abt things if we wish to succeed mayb,
n if we fail, we will hv no option but get cacooned fr sometime atleast till the angels treadour paths..
strangely, life has got the problems as well as the solutions..,
it has things to entice us with , n also remedies wen we lose or fail…
but thats life n we got to live it:)
if only all people realised what uve said… may b ther wud be less pain from the neverending rat race that we r into..
Yeah, self-pity sucks..Yet, we have all done it..I think it is one of the things that needs to be consciously avoided..coz instinctively, one’s problems always seem the biggest to oneself..it’s like whoever made man, made him intrinsically imperfect – on many levels, in myriad ways..and we are all trying to rise above our basest instincts..
Man, this comment has transcended the content of ur post..never mind..chew on it
Self Pity!!! What’s that???????
well said.. total cam.. altho wouldnt call friends angels.. hehehhe.. but yeah, they do get us out of the shit we get ourselves into.. total cam..