Nuggets (1)
1) There is a big difference between tolerance and acceptance. If you are tolerant, you put up with people’s behaviour, sometimes do a thing or two for others, you may seem to be patient with people. But if you carry the memories and/or the associated pains it does not help at all, as it will all come out as a volcano at sometime or the other. Acceptance of people is unconditional. It arises from unconditional love, and understanding of the person. It will not keep memories and pains in storage for later retrieval. Acceptance will help forgive, forget and build.
2) We like to change the people we love the most – because it is “good” for them. We take liberties with people close to us only. In the process of effecting the change, we shift from acceptance to tolerance to intolerance. How can you love a person unconditionally if you want to change him/her constantly? Leave him alone, and he will change on his own in order to make you happy. If you meet my expectations, I like and love you, else I will try to change you. Sounds shady? It is!
3) It is okay to expect love in return, but don’t expect it to be shown the same way as you would show it.
4) The loudest voice may win an argument, but may not get the best result.
5) The greatest gift spouses can give each other, or parents can give their children – is the trust that whatever decision you take, you would have exercised your rationality, and would think for the best of all concerned. The trust that if things don’t go as planned, you would still have done whatever you could have in your capacity. That you would not let me down when I need you the most.
6) A distinction between true love, and love arising merely out of responsibility – say of parenting or marriage, “What I want to get done”, rather than how do I get him/her to do “What will make him/her truly happy”
7) Finally, experiences (own or vicarious) generalized make philosophy J
Well written Deepa!
But I wonder if it is indeed easy to act along these principles. Maybe we should then deliberate on the larger questions of ‘what is love?’ ‘what is it that makes us happy?’ ‘what is happiness?……
I don’t know. You say experiences make philosophy… but can philosophy guide our existence?
nice one deepa.. especially the one on the “trust” part.. totally agree wid u wat wid experience and all;)
nice one deepa.. probably true in an idealistic sense, but i doubt if its practical..
its not easy to trust someone else.. be it your friend or spouse or anyone in the world.. for where there is absolute trust, there is also the probability of betrayal of trust.. and humans are after all animals at probably a slightly higher level of evolution.. survival instinct will tell you to save your a]] first.. and hence, the fear of betrayal will always keep you from trusting someone in toto.. while acceptance is good and ideal, i doubt if its practically possible.. tolerance is where you can get to most of the times.. and end of the day, if it sees you through, thats all that matters..
your turn.. wot sez you??